Sunday, July 19, 2015

Journal 79 - Serial Killers and Conformism

I caught a glimpse of two lovers sneaking a kiss behind the
trees on the other side of the Art building. I found a virgin
furtively watching from a nearby car, rubbing her hands together
but not smiling, studying like a sexual anthropologist. I wanted
to open the door to her car and grab her and bring her head
to mine, kissing her with longing and remembrance, kissing
through her into that reticence yet no further. I wanted to
kiss her on her lusty wet lips then smile and say, "You're
right. It's better when it matters." Then thank her for re-
giving me my lapsed youth, my lapsed youth spent chewing
nicotine gum, staring at pointillistic dots on my computer
screen - green dots of distinct individuality, before the virtue
of the technological beauty and superiority of conformism,
at least regarding visual artistry. I think conformism is under-
rated. Conformism can be good, like the computer screen, or
the serial killer. Serial killers are bad but to succeed is to
conform. Hiding in plain sight. Of course I'm always suspicious
of the non-conformist. The tattooed, pierced vamps who
make me wonder if there is any substance underneath the
makeup, the painful makeup of black and more black clothes.
Screaming children screaming "Look at me, I'm different and
I matter, I promise; can't you see? Don't judge a book by
its cover but don't ask to open me." Forcing me to see you
as different leads me to believe there isn't much there to
see. But surprises rise from the steam of the gutters and
the cabins in the dark lovely woods. It's Frost I hear.
I want to walk the path most travelled and still make
it mater, versus the easy way of the path less travelled
where anything you do (shit in the woods) or say (there
are ghosts in the machine) catapults you to original infamy.
Anyone can be original when it's never been done. Give
me blue jeans and SUVs and corporate jobs, then make
an original work of Art so I can shove it up your
outcast ass. I of course am not me, but some other
similar who actually is original and actually can shove it
up your vampiric ass. Originality is personalised, infused
derivation of those personalized copyists before you who
also stand on the shoulders of their original peers. That
which has been done is that which will be done. No new sun.


1 comment:

  1. I think you probably don't know many 'goths.'